Artist: Braindrill
Title: Quantum Catastrophe
Type: Album
Label: Metal Blade Records

Californian quartet Braindrill describe themselves as ‘Technical Death Metal;’ a prospect that makes any metal fan worth his salt salivate as the prospect of finely honed and inventively crafted brutality. Unfortunately these guys fall very short indeed of what they are trying to achieve. Imagine, if you will, a very cute cat. It’s looking at you, with its big eyes, pawing slightly at you in a playful manner. Now imagine that you stroke that cat. Nice isn’t it? It brushes itself against your hand affectionately. Now imagine that you turn that cat around, lift up its tail, hold it tightly and then over the next 42 minutes, you pull yard after yard of barbed wire out of its bumhole. Imagine it’s pained excruciating howls. It looks back at you, pleadingly, imploringly, asking “Why???” Imagine how that makes you feel. Are you there yet? Ok. Well that’s how I felt after listening to this complete and total catastrophe of an album.

There can be no doubt at all that the members of Braindrill are accomplished musicians, and to suggest otherwise would be churlish. Musical ability alone does not a good band make though, and in this instance their songwriting ability is almost non existent. Vocalist Steve Rathjen has the most bland raw death grunt I’ve heard in some time, and it does not change tone over the whole album, save for the odd scream which sounds like it could be borne out of frustration rather than expressive creativity. The drums, ritually obliterated by Ron Casey, are as fast and precise as you will hear anywhere, just don’t expect any variation. Much the same for Ivan Munguia’s bass which is lightning fast, but seems to repeat the same thing over and over. So, what we have here is a very bland, run of the mill death metal band which is then completely ruined by the guitarist. I decided, that maybe it was possible that my initial impressions of Braindrill were a bit harsh, so I set about getting a second opinion from a good friend of mine, known for his very broad and accommodating taste for all things metal; someone who can see the good in pretty much anything. My opinions were vindicated however as within the first minute of opening track ‘Obliteration Untold’, he said exactly what I was thinking, which was, “Who is that fucking self indulgent, noodling, fret wanking pillock?” Well, that fret wanking pillock is Dylan Ruskin, a lightning fast, extremely proficient and technically outstanding guitarist who somehow has never settled on a riff he liked, and is completely oblivious to anything his bandmates seem to be playing at any time. His constant atonal fret exploration exercise lasts for pretty much the entire album uninterrupted, yet never more annoyingly than on the ridiculously overlong title track, which clocks in at a seemingly eternal 16 randomly performed minutes.

I’ll say this much. Braindrill is a perfect name for this band, because listening to this album has given be a very good idea what trepanning feels like. Of the various people who I have played this to, all have hated it, one of whom actually said it made them feel sick. However, as ever, I like to try and find something good in everything, and there are two moments that stood out on here. Firstly, the last minute of ‘Monumental Failure’, (which would have been a far more apt title for the album), in which Ruskin actually seems to settle down and find a riff. I was so pleased for him, and the rest of them, that they actually managed to create a reasonably decent collection of notes for a while that I felt myself welling up. The other moment was the 4 or so minutes of wind and ambient noise at the end of the album, which for me was the best moment by far.

If you are a fan of technical death metal, listen to Demlich, or Cryptopsy, or Immolation, or anyone else quite frankly. Avoid this like a very bad plague indeed. This is complete and total arse gravy of the stickiest and smelliest order.

http://www.myspace.com/braindrill