Artist: Low Twelve
Title: Splatter Pattern
Type: Album
Label: DBC Records
When none of our writers claimed this album to review I had to questions why that was. And then I heard the album for myself and well, that just threw up a load more questions, the main one being what on earth was the A&R guy smoking when he signed this band? Was a bribe involved? Was he held at gunpoint by an over-zealous band manager? It’s just so hard to imagine any label willingly signing up this act. Perhaps even more baffling is the fact that Low Twelve are no new kids on the block – they have apparently been making this god-awful racket for a whole, looooong twelve years racking up three full lengths, three demos and even a DVD, and unsurprisingly they don’t sound to have moved on much further than 1999. Amazing! This is the kind of thing I would expect to be handed by a skinny, pimply-faced 14 year old in a Slipknot t-shirt in the belief that I’d like, totally “dig” his band; they’d be the most original thing this side of having a female singer simply because two of the members bring a DM influence to the table, while one is a thuggish hardcore kid and the other thinks metal doesn’t get much better than Korn’s ‘Life Is Peachy.’ I’d probably listen to it, think ‘aww, bless…’ because they’re only kids, would try and think of something constructive to say and then throw it in the bin.
Come to think of it, I don’t recall hearing a demo quite this bad. For all the sucky local support bands I’ve seen over the years (and where I live, there are plenty of those!) nothing quite matches up. Where do I begin? Well to start with I guess the hardcore shouts are passable, until frontman Lee Aldridge decides that he’s going to audition for Sesame Street and does a cookie monster impersonation that is, at best, cringeworthy. By track five, ‘Hand Of The Dying,’ I’m already regretting that “passable” comment as his vocal squawks have me covering my ears, reminding me a little of when someone scrapes their fingers down a blackboard. Okay? Moving on.
It’s clear from listening to this that there is a strong political agenda. The album is littered with samples about Japanese war atrocities and acts of terror, for example, on ‘A Heroes Last Stand’ we hear a newsreader talking about 9/11 but the sample is just really badly mixed in to the music, almost as if the music was just an afterthought and something to fill the gap between samples. Bottom line; if you have something to say on politics, start a blog! So why, you ask, do I leave the actual music until very last? Well, because there really is very little to say. For the most part, this is bland, uninspired death metal with repetitive chugging guitars putting out one lifeless, dull riff after another – I can live with that, except it is as messy as your average chav’s front garden. ‘Defiance To The End’ has an attempt at that mid-90’s groove and ‘Dying Room’ even quickens the pace momentarily for a little bit of variety. The production is equally poor – there’s some really odd noises that sounds like someone tapping on a speaker and it seems to get more and more frequent towards the end. As for ‘Not Forgotten;’ well, let’s just say this is one album that will be forgotten almost straight away. Awful!
http://www.lowtwelve.com/
http://www.myspace.com/lowtwelve
