Let's start this review with a familiar sounding caveat - I do not per-se have a problem with Christian metal, certainly no more than any other form of theistically-motivated music. Indeed, I have a pretty firm disregard for all forms of dogmatic Monotheism, from Christianity to Satanism and everything in between, so this really does not play a part in my passing judgement on bands. It just so happens that, since metal's inception forty-odd years ago, the trident-wielding horned one has tended to have the monopoly on the best bands with God and his well-meaning cronies having to be make do with some real shite. Unfortunately for the good guys, US-based bible worshippers Ultimatum aren't going to do anything to change this as 'real shite' they most definitely are.
'Lex Metalis' is, to put it VERY mildly, somewhat ill-advised. It's a tribute album to the band's favourite classic metal anthems of choice featuring their own unique interpretations of some of the genre's stalwart tunes with Metallica's 'Creeping Death', Iron Maiden's 'Wrathchild' and Saxon's 'Denim and Leather' being but three of the tracks tackled. Thanks to a combination of clumsy musicianship and truly wretched vocals, 'unique interpretation' here sadly translates to 'mangling beyond recognition'.
Overlooking for a moment the sheer audacity of a more or less completely unknown band deciding to take on some of the most respected metal tracks of the last twenty-five years, one would at least expect them to tackle these songs with the reverence that they deserve. Alas, Ultimatum seem to think that throwing together some half-baked pub-metal incarnations of said tunes and topping them off with a vocal performance that is no less than appalling is somehow sufficient. Scott Waters is clearly going for the Udo Dirkschneider 'gruff 'n' ready' school of lungsmanship but fails abysmally here, sounding like Donald Duck using a voicebox at 17RPM. It's a horrible sound, only marginally worse than the plodding, garage-level band backing him up. Ham-fisted solos wail, drums plod and a sense of deep ennui at the futility of the whole exercise descends like a fog.
Do you really need to hear any more from me on this one? If the above sounds irredeemably hopeless then that's simply because it is - I'm not one to lay into a band for the sake of it but this really is a poor effort. To compound Ultimatum's crimes, they then go and launch into a hilariously inept rendition of Megadeth's 'Moto Psycho' in which the last few remaining droplets of their credibility gurgle feebly down the plughole. Laughably bad.
http://www.myspace.com/ultimatummetal
