GWAR, MURDER ONE, SAVIOURS
So, comic relief day. One of the funniest things I have ever seen was Oderus Urungus with slave stomping down the Charing X Road in full clobber. People were either legging it out his way or desperately attempting to take photos on mobile phones, traffic had stopped. I wanted to run away but couldn’t as it was my lot to be the reason he was rampaging towards the Crobar for an interview. If you have ever spent 20 minutes being shouted at by an alien waving a 10 foot phallus in your face you will know what I went through but you will have to read about this in more detail in Terrorizer.
Fast forward a few calming beers later and into the Mean Fiddler for a few more calming beers and the gig. GWAR don’t often have much time for supports due to their elaborate stage set-up but surprisingly there were 2 on tonight. The first were called Saviours and all I knew was that they had been on tour with Mastodon recently. Thick sludgy riffs of bass heavy 70’s sounding stoned rock with a kick bolstered into the venue and bounced around the joint. There was nothing airy fairy about this band, the music had a kick akin to a very heavy Led Zeppelin. They got necks in motion and heads banging as powerful boozy jam outs hit the walls like particularly thick vomit.
Huge drum rolls and evil cackles had our teeth rattling and we knew perhaps as a sign of things to come that we were all well and truly doomed here tonight. With guitars wahing away the melody at times built into a psychedelic intensity before devolving into some sweet leafy breaks that if it had been weed would have been a particularly hefty breed of skunk. With a new album Crucifire out in May, Saviours were well worth checking out even if it was a bit of a surprise addition to the line-up.
I thought Screamin Daemon were due to play this but for some reason this wasn’t the case. Not that I was complaining as instead Murder One were the main support. I feel really guilty for simply not having caught this lot since the fateful night when after their gig John Paul Morrow (also ex Iron Monkey) passed away. Still it’s surprising that the group had recently split up due to lack of interest, but the interest was obviously there and they couldn’t resist reforming for this tour. This might have been the last chance we got to witness them in action but fingers crossed they may reconsider.
Coming on to the mighty Harmonica Man from Ennio Morricones Once Upon A Time In The West theme this was just the calm before the storm. This was one fucking intense show, hardly surprising as the band feature ex members of the Mighty Medulla Nocte (best UK hardcore band ever) as well as Raging Speedhorn. The sound of murder basically came at us kicking and screaming and musically it was full of a panic attack inducing claustrophobia giving you little time to catch your breath. I guess that is the effect the band are looking for with song titles such as Sensory Deprivation. Paul Catten and John Loughlin literally spent the entire set simply screaming at each other. Guitars and bass hit hard and as for drummer Jammer’s beefy swipes there was no messing with them. This was like being in a car crash or physically beaten up and reminded me of all the great Medulla Nocte shows that I had seen in the past. It was also the sound to hit an inanimate object to and made me want to go out and kick the living shit out of a Chelsea tractor. Luckily by the time I left the aggression had been forgotten but songs like On Screen Rapist had not.
This might not be the most detailed song by song sort of live review you have ever read but that is to be explained by the fact that my notes are covered in blood, urine and spunk (thankfully not real) and I was busy concentrating on getting photos, trying not to wreck my camera and rinsing the foul taste of said fluids out of my mouth with as much cider as I could possibly swallow.
I had a chat with a security guard before GWAR came on and asked if he knew what he was letting himself in for. He did and pointed at the wall away from the stage front smirking. Ah well he was on wall duty the other poor sods weren’t and there were plenty of soggy bodies to catch for them during the course of the show. I also knew what to expect having seen every London GWAR show to date but never from quite this close up.
It was mere minutes before I was absolutely soaked. An army guy with a big gun (and even bigger neck) was up on stage being all gung-ho but Oderus had a big sword, he doesn’t really like sharing his stage with anyone and would probably have killed his band and slaves if he didn’t really need them. G.I. Joe was certainly surplus to requirements, off with his head, not half!
If I was that way inclined and I’m not, which is what made getting a face full of spunk later all more disturbing I would also have to comment just how manly Balsac The Jaws Of Death and Beefcake The Mighty looked (sorry Flattus Maximus defo doesn’t do it for me). Personally I miss Slymenstra Hymen, I really think these boys need a good woman to spank around the stage with. I’m sure there would have been some volunteers here and there was so many gallons of red stuff coming from the neatly eviscerated Adolf Hitler I am sure that knickers were wet in more ways than one.
Unfortunately that bastard fascist had a full metal jackoff and I got the goods straight between the eyes and I hope that anyone reading this appreciates just what us poor writers endure for you at times. I was fucking grateful the Polish invading penis had been given a good seeing to by the band.
I was glad to get thrown out the pit of doom (although there were no problems getting back in later when more nasties were reeled out). Trying to drink from the sidelines I was amazed to note that the claret had an incredible range and was even getting us right at the sides of the stage by the wall (not laughing now are you Mr smug security?)
Not sure what the fuck they were playing at the time but it was lame one and sounded like a pussy assed Manowar number, don’t tell em I said that but I was hankering for something off my favourite album Scumdogs Of The Universe.
We actually got whisked off to the very 1st album Hell-O for the GWAR theme, wasn’t expecting that. “We’ve got guitars, we’ll eat your car,” they don’t make em like that anymore! I legged it back to the pit as the Terminator was out for glory on War Party, should have known better as most of the claret from his demise got me straight in the face.
Proving there is nobody safe from their wrath an old man in a wheelchair was next up for a speedy say hello to heaven. Hopefully going in the other direction if there’s any justice in this world The Pope went straight to heel and needless to say the crowd were very happy about his demise.
Satan is Jewish apparently and the end of level boss here was Jewcifer not only did GWAR summarily execute him but they did it to one of my favourites Sick Of You which had everyone singing along. The last thing I scrawled on my rapidly disintegrating notepad was “oh God they are going to bring out the biledriver!” and I am going to leave this hideous image in your imagination. Staggering out looking like an accident in a butchers shop I realised the only place that I wouldn’t cause any consternation about my appearance was The Intrepid Fox over the road and legged it over to get so drunk I wouldn’t have cared or remembered if I had woken up in a police station the next day.
God What A Rectum.
Pete Woods
LONDON MEAN FIDDLER 16/03/07